In Heaven Will We Worry About Our Loved Ones Still on Earth?
Recently, a friend of mine brought up this topic online. This is a great (and common) question and deserves a considerate re-sponse. Following is her question and my response (it was an open question and mine was one among many replies):
Her:
This conversation came up while discussing the impact of Nabeel [Qureshi's] passing on his family, especially his parents and sister, who are still Muslim.
The Bible tells us in Revelation 21 that when we are with Jesus in heaven/ new earth, there will be no sorrow, no more tears, no more pain.
But what about those who are currently in heaven? Do they still worry about family and friends who are not believers? Is Nabeel worrying over the state of his parents and sister?
I stated that he is not worrying, because he is in the presence of God who fills and knows his heart and desires regarding his family. Nabeel's trust in God is total and complete. The other side of this conversation said that sounded selfish, like "I have my salvation and am here with God so I no longer care about those still on earth...."
What are your opinions on this?
Me:
I think people in heaven will realize that hell is a way of honoring people as being intrinsically valuable creatures made in God’s image. Many times a person’s ability to enjoy something comes from growing older and gaining a more mature perspective, and we can expect a fullness of spiritual maturity in the afterlife. For instance, a young child is often unable to enjoy a gift if he perceives that another child's gift is better. However, when he is older, he is able to enjoy his gift irrespective of the other's. Or perhaps think of a family member in prison. That does not occupy every second of the family’s mind. Knowing their family member is incarcerated does not stifle their enjoyment of life. C.S. Lewis said hell doesn’t have veto power over heaven. In other words, people in heaven will not be denied the privilege of enjoying their lives just because they are consciously aware of hell. The soul is big enough to have an unperturbed sense of joy, well-being, love and happiness, while at the same time having a sense of grief and sadness for others. Those are not inconsistent states in a person’s life. It’s a mark of a person’s character and maturity that he’s able to have those states at the same time. We do it all the time already in this life. We'll certainly have the maturity/ability to do so in the next.
Her Reply to Me:
Maybe in heaven, God gives us the knowledge of how many times He reached out to those who choose to ignore him. Based on the Bible, I don't see us worrying or being sad over those who didn't choose God.
My Response to Her:
You're absoluteIy right, there will be no worry or sadness in heaven. Look, I was understandably devastated after my wife's death, and I wore out my poor pastor with questions and dis-cussions in the weeks that followed. I appreciated his honesty, even if I didn't necessarily like the answers I got at the time. When I asked if he thought Leigha missed me, he said, "No, because (just as you have already pointed out) there will be no more sorrow, tears or pain." He went to explain that instead she looks forward to my arrival in excited anticipation. That is the sense in which she “misses me.” She can’t wait for me to get there and enjoy in person what she is now enjoying, because there is no negative in heaven. Anything less than the full, exuberant experience of complete joy would effectively diminish heaven itself, and that is not possible. Now that differs markedly from Nabeel’s example. With family members that are unsaved, he won’t feel the excited anticipation that Leigha does (unless and until he rejoices with the rest of heaven at their salvation [Luke 15:10]). However, to the extent we understand in this life that God is perfect in all his attributes - he is perfect in love, in mercy, in justice, etc. - just imagine communing with Him PERSONALLY in the glorified state. Nabeel, now glorified in eternity, understands as much as a finite, contingent being can possibly understand our perfect heavenly Father to the fullest extent possible. I can’t imagine what that kind of love and trust must feel like. So I believe there is absolutely zero doubt on Nabeel’s part that what happens is good and just and appropriate to the decisions his family will make in this life. One thing that excites me is that Leigha’s love for me has been perfected. Nabeel’s love has been perfected as well. And part of a spiritually mature love has to include the understanding that no matter what, God is righteous and He is just. Incredible trust then naturally follows. And it is in that perfect trust that Nabeel can rest without misgivings. As a matter of fact, that is already available to all of us here in this life. So, again, imagine how much more it is multiplied when we are in the glorified state. Our wills will be inclined toward their proper object, God, and not toward ourselves as they are in this life. Because there is no selfishness in eternity, no woe is me, coupled with the perfected love and trust of God, there just simply isn’t any room for worry. You just cannot diminish the experience of heaven. If you could, then by definition, it wouldn’t be heaven.